Bittersweet
by 822837
Summary: Sirius when he finds out he is in Gryffindor.


"Gryffindor!" I take off the hat and walk towards the cheering corresponding table filled with unfamiliar faces, the world slowly starting to spin. Sitting down, I endure the slaps on the back and high fives everyone seems to want to give out. I smile, but on the inside, I am a wreak. Why? What had that old ragged hat sen in my mind, to deem me unworthy of my family's house? What did I ever do to deserve this humiliation? Had I thought of something bad and the patchy hat thought I deserved to be punished? No doubt it knew what was going to happen, poison had been the Black's specialty for a long was no doubt I was going to die, and it was going to be slow and painful. The question is: who are my parents going to make poison me? Was it going to be one of the house elves? My brothers or one unsuspecting student? It would be a delicious irony to use the poison I myself had created. Cyanide. But much more painful IF anyone tries to figure out the cause of death, they will not find any trace of the noxious substance in my corpse. I finger the vial of the stuff in my pocket. I had brought it along just in case I got put in any other house other than Slytherin. Looks like I will finally have the chance to test it on a human being. Me. I should probably record myself doing it and leave a note requesting that the people who found my body send it to my mother. She can see me die with some measure of dignity and study the effects of the drug. No one will be found guilty except me. Just as I am about to get up and leave the room in order not to scare the other people for life, I feel someone gripping my arm. Looking up I see one of the other kids holding me in place. I think his name was...James.

"You are Sirius right?" I stare at him for a while trying to figure out how he knew that, but then I notice the deep green eyes and immediately pull away. Getting up, I shake his hand off and brush away the invisible dust covering my pants.

"Uh, yeah. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom." he raises a thick eyebrow but does not offer a counter-argument. He keeps looking at me, emotions fighting across his face. In the end, he gives up trying to hide his curiosity.

"How would you know where the bathroom is?" he asks.

"I don't." I walk out of the room and start wandering around the hallways, the vial of poison from my pocket clutched tightly. After about ten minutes of walking around aimlessly, I find the boys bathroom and open the door. I walk toward the sink and sit down on it heavily. Pointing my wand at the mirror I whisper the one spell my mother taught me. Et mitte recordarentur. The mirror glows white for a moment and goes back to normal. Good. Now should record my actions and send it to her on a live stream. It is a good thing it does not work both ways, plus she will be able to see the effects of the poison if she rewinds it.

Finally. I go in front of the mirror and take out the vial. I take off the wax sealing the top and bring it up to my lips, careful not to inhale any of the substance. The ordinary poison interferes with the red cells' abilities to extract oxygen, causing an 'internal asphyxia'. The victim literally suffocates to death as he breathes in oxygen he cannot use. The effects occur almost instantly when the cyanide is swallowed, causing immediate unconsciousness, convulsions, and death within fifteen minutes. This fate awaits me, but it will take much longer and be a lot more painful, for I won't blackout... I take one last look around. Who would have thought I would die like this? Everyone. Including me. A sharp pang of pain hits me. Even though I saw it coming, it still hurts. I close my eyes for a second and say a little prayer to whoever is out there listening. _Ridiculous._ My mother's voice echoes in my mind, the sharp tone bringing back the memory of when she first found me kneeling with the metal cross in hand. Not two minutes later the little symbol of faith had melted in the fireplace. I bring the vial to my lips once more.

Just as I am about to down the substance, a boy bursts into the room followed by James. I turn around startled and see their eyes widen at the amber liquid in the vial. The unfamiliar boy starts approaching me slowly.

"What is it?" I demand casually, leaning against the mirror. The boy looks slightly afraid but, continues to come closer. He stops about five steps away and points at the little glass bottle in my hand.

"That's Cyanide is it not?" he asks, a quiver in his voice. I frown. _How in the world?_ I cut myself off before I can take it any farther and smile.

"No actually." I lie. "It's my medicine. You see, I have this thing called asthma. If I don't take this every four hours I die from the lack of oxygen because my lungs don't open enough." what a delicious irony. Here I am, about to die from the lack of air induced by the "medicine" and pretending it's a cure. That it can save me.

"Than why did you have to leave the hall? Why could you not slip it in your food or something?" James asks.

"Well, I tend to have a rather violent reaction after I take it. I simply did not want to be rushed to the hospital wing. " I say smiling as widely as I can. "Would you like to see?" Mr. Unknown turns to James.

"Don't listen to him, man. That's poison. If he inhales, swallows or touches that he will die of asphyxiation." he turns to me. "You are one of the Blacks." I nod. This kid could cause a lot of trouble if this keeps on going any longer. I quickly put the top of the vial into my mouth and force myself to swallow the poison. The kid gasps and catches me before I hit the ground, ripping the empty vial from my fingers. He stares at me in horror.

" _Too late,"_ I whisper, as I feel the first blood cells start dying. " _Go away. You don't want to be here for this next part."_ I try to pry his fingers away from my hand, but I start shaking uncontrollably. I see him reach within the folds of my robe to reveal the dagger I always carried around. Pain takes control of me. I feel my skin tightening around my frame as if it suddenly got smaller. With each spasm, my body feels like it is impaled by thousands of swords, the blood freely leaking out of my pores now. Through the haze of pain, I see instead of feeling the boy putting the dagger against my neck. I want to scream at him, tell him to stop. That I deserve this pain, but instead James grips his arm and turns him around. He twists something around his neck. All of the sudden, everything goes still, and the pain starts to fade. And then it's gone. I get up, light headed to see that I am standing in the hallway right outside the bathroom. Looking down, I see that I am completely blood free. James is gripping my arm and the kids. My vial is nowhere to be seen, and neither is my dagger. I spot the blade in the kid's hand.

"What the Hell just happened?" I shout, pulling away from his grip. The other kid trips me and I crash down, hitting my head painfully against the hard marble floor. They both hold me down. James finally decides to speak.

"I believe a proper introduction is in order, "he says. "Hi, my name is James and this is Lupin. You just tried _to_ commit suicide. We just saved your life." I groan. "If you promise you won't try to run, we will let you up." he grins. I carefully cross my fingers before answering and then nod violently. They release me, and I jump up. With a lightning-fast movement, I grab the ornate dagger from Lupin and back away.

"Please get away from me," I say with an amiable smile., and slash the vulnerable skin on top of the veins on my arms. "You are too late. I have to die today, and one way or another, I will." I dig the knife deeper in to my wrists to make sure I got more that the random surface vain. The pain slams in me from all sides, making me give a gasp of pain against my will. James cries out and lunges, pinning me to the floor once more. Lupin seems to want to go get a teacher but James yells at him to stop. He tries to hold me down, but I have been in enough fights with my brothers to know how to get out. I get my legs under his chest and take advantage of the fact that he does not want to touch my wrists by kicking him savagely in the chest. He flies of way further than I had expected, and hits the wall nearest to us. I get up, the world tilting slightly. A foggines comes over me. My eyes roll back. I hit the floor with a thump. _Hope I made you proud mother._


End file.
